My Testimony to Jesus Christ
I was delivered from a demon doctors called “Borderline Personality Disorder.” I didn’t know it was a demon until a few weeks after I gave my life to Jesus Christ, which was on March 23, 2016. I know a lot of people don’t like to hear (even good Christians have a hard time hearing and believing it) ‘it was a demon’, but I know it’s important to say it, because it’s true. I understand that it seems “crazy” because not that long ago – I was in the group of people that dismissed such things as “crazy.”
Hollywood has given us an idea as to what demonic possession and oppression is supposed to look like, and it looks made up. It looks like it’s not real and it’s just a fun story to get scared by – that it can’t really happen. We, as humans, have been conditioned to think a certain way about life – from the very second we are born. This includes the spiritual realm. This includes God – and our living God, Jesus Christ. This conditioning includes demons wreaking havoc on the unknowing. It’s not about spinning heads, levitating beds and crawling on walls. It very commonly takes the form of blackout RAGE, crippling DEPRESSION, overwhelming ANXIETY, inexplicable HATRED, consuming GREED – and I’m only stating (some) the symptoms of what I went through.
I don’t know other people’s experience with demons, only mine. But I can say – with confidence in the Lord – that if you don’t have the Holy Spirit in you – something else is in you. I’m not going to get into detail about how horrible my troubles were, but they started around the age of 7. By the age of 29 – it got so bad, I literally felt like I had nowhere to turn. I literally tried every belief, religion or tradition this world has to offer.
When I really started to hit rock bottom, I was even dabbling in Wicca traditions. I was smiting God a lot. I didn’t even really understand why I was smiting Him – when I didn’t even really believe in Him. I understand now it was my demon. I had completely let this demon take over my heart.
It’s a little overwhelming at times to know certain things that happened in my life – that made no sense to me while it was happening – make perfect sense now. For instance: I really hated a good Christian person I was close to at one time. And when I noticed that person falling away from Christ’s’ values, I was really happy. There are so many other instances that I can speak about, but maybe that’s for a different conversation.
After a lot of years in and out of hospitals, countless amounts of prescriptions, countless numbers of doctors and counselors – none of these things ever offered a solution to my “issues.” I couldn’t keep a job. I couldn’t keep a friend. I couldn’t live. I didn’t know how to just get up in the morning and just live.
I got up for years every morning, in complete agony. Silent agony to my friends and family (except my husband) because they didn’t understand. They just saw that I was young, had a house and a lot of animals and just couldn’t understand what I was “crying about” or why I was so “spoiled.” And I don’t blame them – because demons aren’t something easy to understand without spiritual eyes and ears.
I was tackling a “monster sickness” and people – myself included – didn’t know what to do. I just want it to be known that, Jesus took this heavy burden off of my shoulders. After how hard and wicked I let my heart become – he forgave me and delivered me from this demon. I can’t explain it better than a night and day type change. When I opened up my heart to Jesus Christ, and really humbled myself on my knees and begged him to help me – and He did. He heard me this time. Because I asked Him – something I had never done in my life, and I’m thankful everyday that I was led to do so.
I’m learning how to live without all the negative burdens that plagued my life for so long, but it’s been really easy. I take everything to the Lord (and no, it hasn’t been completely perfect) and He ALWAYS shows me the way.