My Testimony of How I Came To Know Christ.
Hi, I am a 19 year old mother of a 1 year old little boy, and I am here to testify that my God is real and He is all things Good! I always believed in God but I was not a devout Christian because of the people I was hanging around with. I was a smart, beautiful child that did not have a church growing up, all I had was my mother and my grandma to teach me. I grew up knowing the commandments and fearing breaking them.
My grandmother who we call “Meme” taught me what I know about Jesus. Unfortunately as I kept growing I started to lose focus and not care about God’s word because of these worldly things. I thought I was fat and ugly as a little girl, I had a lot of insecurity issues, but as I look back at pictures I realized how cute and kind I was. Anyways, I went through my teenage years trying to make myself somebody that I was not. I wore heavy eyeliner and tried to change my outside looks to what I seen on television. The way media portrayed “pretty girls” had a big impact on my insecurity issues.
As I got older I got better at painting my face with makeup and hiding the hurt of feel imperfect. I started to cut myself because I heard that was what the other sad kids were doing. I started sneaking out and being with a guy that would use me from age 14. It was hard for me to learn how to become a respectable woman because my mother got locked up when I started high school. It was scary transitioning from middle school to high school without your mom. I was never interested in boys until I started my freshman year. I also started my period when my mom was really sick with bronchitis in the hospital so I had learned to deal with that on my own in a way. Its hard for a child to learn things without the woman who made them. I had so many questions I kept to myself because I didn’t want to ask anyone but my mom.
No disrespect to my mother, she was a single of three children that always tried her hardest to give us a life even through her struggles. She was a seriously independent woman who never put our father on child support. Well, I got with a boy in March of 2014 and I loved him like crazy. I was never talking to other guys because he was so sweet and loving to me, but I was always asking for the wrong things. I wanted him to runaway with me all the time and he would do anything I asked to keep me happy. I would ask for materialistic things and he would give them to me or find a way to get it to me without any hesitation. Keep in mind we were young and dumb, no jobs, just stealing off of hardworking people. One day he got locked up and the world as I knew it was crushed.
In order to cope I started smoking weed and messing with other guys trying to feel that love again. I got wrapped up in a lifestyle that wasn’t for me. I dropped out and was drinking and even tried a hard drug for the first time. By doing that, I came home and tried to kill myself one night. I overdosed on Tylenol because that was the first bottle I had seen in the cabinet. I wasn’t thinking, was just high and tired of living life at 16 years old. I had to have my stomach pumped in order to live. It was one of the worst things I have been through. It hurt so bad, I can still remember the excruciating pain and the noises of tubes and needles. The embarrassment was just as horrible. They kept the door open because I was under suicide watch. They shoved a huge tube down my nose and into my stomach then pumped charcoal into me to get the bad out. Everyone walking past could see and was watching me. Then the most embarrassing part of it all I would have to say is they took my blood and told my mother and Meme what drugs I was on. I’m not ashamed now because it is my past and I’m here to tell what I have been through so somebody out there may read this and know there’s hope for your future and a better tomorrow ALWAYS!
Well dropping in and out of school caused me not to focus on myself. The sad part about that is God had made me a straight A, honor roll student in AP classes and college credits my first year in high school. I had been in Gifted and Talented my whole life and never had to study. I just started to look at school as boring when I began dating. Well when my boyfriend had gotten out he continued to stay with me even though I told him the truth he loved me through it all. I’m so thankful to have someone put up with all of that because he simply loves me. That man stuck with me through thick and thin, now we have a beautiful blessing of a son. I’m just now learning to love myself through Christ so I can love others. Anyone who feels unloved and like nothing is working in their favor I suggest you pray and look up. Because nobody loves you more than God who is above and made you. He tells you YOU ARE LOVED! So many times throughout the bible and in so many ways. His word is the truth and “You are loved with an everlasting love” Jerimiah 31:3 “for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16. He let his very own son die for us to live eternally with Him I heaven. Who could love you more than that? All He asks for is a relationship with you. He is that father that is always there and never leaving. He’s an amazing father too, like I mentioned earlier he only gives good.
Well October 2017 I took Coricidin, cough and cold medicine, 6 little pills and they nearly killed me. I literally overdosed and God protected me. I was down and dying for a month. I believe I had a stroke because my temperature went from high to low extremely fast, and my whole left side of my body felt paralyzed. When I came out of that, I didn’t even know my own name. I had to relearn how to wash dishes, make a bed, how to bathe myself. I couldn’t even take care of my own son. But I had my family praying for me and amazing church that that helped me though it all and continue to help me. My Meme’s and my boyfriend’s faith was strong enough to hold me up and build my faith up. She took me to a hospital and my pastor came and prayed with me. He asked me if I believed and I said yes. He told me if I believed I could walk out of there just fine, that I was to be healed in the name of Jesus Christ. I left without Dr. orders because my faith had became so strong.
I’m back in school about to graduate tomorrow actually! I have a one year old son that going to see me walk the stage finally. I’m going to go to college to become a nurse practitioner. I want God to guide my way and I want to help others now. I’m am completely excited to live my life again with God on my side and ready to get out and experience what I have been missing. I have realized I was selfish, and I am blessed with everything I could ever need and that’s God and love. All Glory to God because I got my brain back to normal within a 2 month period. I am beyond blessed and saved by Jesus Christ. This is nothing any of us have to do but accept Him. No matter your past He will forgive you.
He kept me here for a reason. One of my reasons is to help others find salvation through Jesus Christ, because nobody can come to the father but through Him. And Jesus lives in all of us. He is that conscious. The one where you are about to do something bad, but there’s that whisper in ur heart that tells you, you shouldn’t! That’s the spirit of Christ in us. Also please know that you are a beautiful person. God made everyone perfect in their OWN way. And everything “beautiful in its own time”. We will never be fully perfect until in heaven with Him so don’t stress yourself out trying to be the best. Anything you do for God is perfect in his eyes. He made us and don’t you forget that. He knows we are going to mess up. He knows that we sin. And no sin is greater than another. In God’s eyes sin is sin, and it’s all equal. So all you have to do is ask God and he will answer. Ask for forgiveness and He forgives. NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL GOD FORGIVES ALL. It is never too late. Everyday he wakes us up is a new chance. He promises to never ignore a plea for help. He loves us unconditionally. Once you realize that you belong for a purpose and start living for the one that made you, when you fall back into the arms of your first love, you will see changes out of the blue and out of the ordinary.
I’m here to testify that it is real and true. The heavens opened up for someone like me and they can open up for someone like you! Since I’ve started praying and trying to be good in our Heavenly Father’s eyes, my prayers are being answered In amazing ways. For example, I sometimes struggle with depression and I went outside with my son to pray and swing. I just asked God to help me and rid me of my sorrow because it’s there for no reason. I just need a little help. I look up in the sky and low and behold I see a cloud in the shape of a dove and another cloud that looked like a hand and they joined. I look down and seen my son had a tear in his eye, I wiped it away and immediately felt this rush of joy and happiness and there were ladybugs all around. I love how God can answer prayers quickly or take his time to test if your faith is strong enough. All that matters is you keep your faith and hold consistent in your prayers.
I wear a bracelet Ephesians 6:18. It reminds me to continue to pray and hold steadfast in your prayers. Just know that everything is in God’s time, not yours. He will answer you, just be prepared cause sometimes the answers are yes, sometimes they are delayed. Sometimes they are no. God is for you. Just get into his word and believe. Do not waste another minute. You don’t know when your judgement day might be so get on the train now. He loves you. Never forget that and keep your faith strong always. He has got you in the palm of his hand and He is bigger than any problem you have or will ever face. Just give it God
Another answered prayer I would like to share with you all is another prayer of healing. My biological dad was in a motorcycle wreck that could have killed him, on the way to the hospital, I called my pastor and we prayed so hard. I prayed all the way there and something warm came into my hard and told me “stop crying it’s okay.” Well me being the crybaby I am, it hurt to see him like that and the hospital careflighted him because they thought there was a skull fracture. He was not wearing a helmet upon impact. I got to the trauma unit he was careflighted to, and they said they seen nothing the first hospital did. He was stitched up and hope the next day. That’s enough answered prayers for me to believe and if you try He will let you know. All you have to do is believe and look for the signs.