I was married to a woman I loved very much. We went through some hard times, but I never once wanted to cause her any pain or hurt, never raised a hand to her, just my voice occasionally. I was raised to never hit a woman, period, unless you had to in self defense.
I had gotten depressed, starting smoking really powerful weed on a daily basis, and was investigating “conspiracy” websites about world events and stock market manipulations, etc. I ended up getting worked up about world events, and stayed up about 4 days straight hitting a really potent strain of marijuana through a vape, which I didn’t know at the time, but one of the effects of the strain combined with the lack of sleep was extreme paranoia.
I ended up opening a gate to something without even knowing that’s what I did (I’ve since found out I had opened my pineal gland). I was literally possessed by a demon. Complete possession. My ex-wife was trying to talk me down, and I was having a war inside my head between good and evil with audible voices.
She convinced me to get into the car and she was going to try to take me to a hospital. I was almost like a passenger on some horrible ride mentally. I was hearing a calm voice that I’m guessing was the Holy Spirit or Jesus, and a loud paranoid voice which was the demon. Sadly, I listened too much to the wrong one.
While we were on the road, I could feel my hand go down into my pocket, which then pulled out my knife, and stabbed my ex-wife in the chest. Thank God she was able to get the car parked and got out waving traffic down for help. It was a bright sunshiny day, but while this was going on I remember my eyes felt like they darkened just like the movies (which, in fact, had actually happened, my ex later told my mama that my eyes were blood-red). It looked like it was midnight to me. I was just in my head enough to know what had happened. I was horrified, and tried to kill myself by walking out into traffic. God saved my life there by having the same people that were attending to my ex-wife wave traffic off.
I was wrestled down at some point later by an off duty officer who had come up on the scene. I didn’t really put up any kind of fight, I just wanted to die because I had no real idea what was happening to me. I was in and out of mental focus, but everything felt incredibly fuzzy. I knew “I” had hurt my ex-wife badly, but I had no idea why or how or anything beyond that. I just remember ranting that the stock market was going to crash and other nonsense. The demon was still in me, just toying with me I think. They took me in and booked me into the local county jail. I didn’t know for 3 days if she was alive or dead. They wouldn’t tell me, just taunting me with
“what do you care, you tried to kill her,”
I found out finally that she was alive by a compassionate jailer, I think he could tell that something was up because I seemed extremely concerned about her for somebody who supposedly had tried to murder her. I later found out details about it. The knife had missed her heart by about an eighth of an inch. That was when I knew it was Jesus that saved her life. It was like surgical precision. The blade had collapsed a lung but the medical staff was able to get her back out of the hospital within a week or so which I also took to be Jesus.
That was when I got down on my knees and begged Jesus to forgive me, and to come into my heart after I had read some religious tract in jail. She later testified to a court ordered psychologist that that I had yelled out “Satan” right before “I” stabbed her. I didn’t remember saying that name at all. It wasn’t until I read that she had said that, that I really realized I was truly possessed, as strange as that sounds. I was so taken aback by the whole thing I wasn’t sure what was going on.
After I took Jesus into my heart as my Savior, things began to immediately turn around for me. I was facing 10 years in prison for first degree assault with a deadly weapon. I had a public defender who knew the law, but in court would literally not speak up to the judge, as if he was afraid of her. The judge had a personal hatred for me I could tell. And honestly I can’t blame her, as I had always hated woman abusers too.
She was supposed to be neutral, but her attitude clearly indicated that she was not. Through a series of circumstances that I completely attributed to Jesus, because there’s no way I would have ever gotten that “lucky” during my sentencing I ended up getting a replacement judge because my original judge had to go out of town. He gave me time served and a year of probation. He could have given me the whole 10 years, but he said based on my completely clean record he was going to give me a chance. I was to have no contact with my ex-wife for a year, and basically that was that.
They let me out within a week of sentencing. I really loved my ex-wife, but I knew that she didn’t fully see that it wasn’t me in control although I could tell she still loved me, she needed to be able to heal from what she had been put through. I say these things knowing that most people probably think I made the whole thing up to avoid responsibility for what happened, but that’s not the case. I know I was responsible for opening the door to the demon, but I never in a million years would have ever hurt her if I was in full control.
Anyway, she’s happy and healthy now and has children and is remarried to another man, which I’m truly happy about. She didn’t deserve anything she went through. Although I wanted to be her husband for life, I totally understood her not believing what happened wasn’t my fault. It was my fault for letting the door be opened, but I wanted nothing but the best for her while I was in control of myself. I say all this to you as my personal testimony for several reasons.
- Jesus loves everybody no matter what they have done. Never feel like you’ve sinned too much, or done something that He won’t forgive you of. Just repent, and He is quick to forgive you.
- A lot of people don’t believe in this kind of event and think it’s all tv land or Hollywood, like I did before it happened to me.
- I would have wanted somebody to talk to me about this sort of thing to help me avoid anything like what I experienced. God tried several times before this to get my attention. I was completely denying His existence and just thinking I was the only one in control of my own destiny like a large portion of society. He had saved me from dying multiple times and I just flippantly said thank you Lord, and carried on like I always did, not truly understanding that it really was God who got me through those events including a car crash and a roof almost falling on my head with barely a scratch.
I have since developed a close personal relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, to the point where I can hear from Him again inside my head (not audibly, it’s hard to explain, it’s almost just like thoughts, but I can tell they aren’t my own). Which scared my mama half to death knowing my possession story. 🙂 But it’s all good things, and calm, and very loving and always truthful. I think what I went through opened my mind up to being able to know how to talk with Him in some way.
Anyway, I asked Him a while back the name of the demon who possessed me just out of curiosity. Azazel instantly was the thought. I had heard the name a couple of times in video games, but beyond that I had no reference. I recently saw a clip of the movie Fallen from 1998, and Denzel’s character mentions the name also (Which leads to another point, Hollywood has been pointing out realities right in our faces for years but presenting them as fiction, also known as predictive programming). Basically he’s one of the baddest of the bad, otherwise known as the scapegoat, and one of Satan’s lieutenants. His specialty is possessing humans with the intent to get them to hurt or kill loved ones. My jaw about hit the floor when I read that.
God is real, demons are real, Heaven is real, and hell is real my friends. I love you all enough to tell you all of this and face the mockers and scoffers, because I want those of you that are not yet saved, and that will listen, even just one of you, to be more informed to make the right decision in your own lives. I was an atheist for quite a few years. I never considered myself to be a bad person. I thought it was enough to just go through life mostly minding my own business and not doing harm to others.
It’s not enough.
God is the creator of each and every one of you. This life is truly a free-will test. We all go through suffering and pain because God wants His children to learn to love Him no matter what they go through. It’s not God who makes us suffer, although He allows it to happen. We choose suffering by our own disobedience to Him. When we make choices that go against His wishes and commandments, we leave ourselves open to the bad stuff.
He doesn’t want robots, which is why He allows us the ability to make choices. When we choose to follow Him, we are blessed, when we choose to follow evil, we are cursed. God IS love, the devil IS hate. Staying neutral or not believing in God is the same as choosing evil to God. If you are not for Him, you are against Him.
This world is now, and has been for years under control of the enemy which will be coming to a close very soon as we truly are in the end of end times. We are all taught luciferian doctrines from the time we are able to go to school on through public schools, television, college, etc. So that we all think we know how the world truly works. Unfortunately Satan is the father of lies.
God is truly not a harsh taskmaster. Since I’ve turned my life over to Him I have been blessed in many ways, the largest one is the ability to have joy in all circumstances. Not necessarily happiness, but joy, which is finding comfort no matter what life throws at me. He doesn’t promise anyone an easy life, but He promises to go through the hard times with us.
Please consider taking Jesus into your hearts today. Salvation is a free gift. All you have to do is realize that you are a sinner. Realize that God loves you so much that He gave His only Son up to be sacrificed to save YOU from YOUR sins. Jesus died for all of us, and rose again on the third day. Make Jesus your Lord today. He truly is the most wonderful person that has ever walked the Earth, and He wants to be your friend.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I really do love all of you out there. I really do want positive things for everyone. This fallen world is getting darker and darker by the minute. Whether you believe in God or not you can tell that. God Bless all of you, and I hope to see you on the other side of this thing we call life.