Elders often told me that God can see everything I do. I pictured it as me doing things and God seeing it from the skies very high above. I found myself still doing sins that I am aware of doing. So then I wanted to push myself to stop. I pictured again. I thought of God always standing beside me. It worked really well… and now I have witnessed, for me, a very big change and relief.
Before, when I receive a grade lower than my average, I try to come up with excuses to tell to my Mother. I sometimes lied and keep my examinations paper from her. But that was until I said to myself, “If I truly love God, I will commit to His ways.”
Earlier this day, we were given our examination results and to my surprise I received the lowest grade that I had my entire life. A grade I know that the consequences will be more than grounded form everything and my Mother shouting at me. I did not know what to do, so I asked my friends. My first question was, “How can I hide this from Mama?” One of my friends answered, “Well, in the record paper of exams, make your Mother sign it first with the grades of your other exams then after signing it, add the results of you exam in History(The subject I got my lowest grade).” I asked, “What about the exam paper itself? I need to get it signed.” He answered, “Next exams won’t require admission slips so you won’t have to pass the exam papers.”
I thought my friend was a genius. Then something slipped in my mind. This is not the proper response to this situation. Yes, I will get away with it but my conscience will not let me sleep and there will still be a way for my Mother to find out. “This is not what God wants me to do,” I thought. God wants us to be in peace. So I thought of some way I can tell my Mom and she won’t get mad. Then I realised – there is no way I will not get a consequence because how will I learn? So I took in all the guts I can find and texted her.
“Mama, the results were out. I got 78 on History. I promise, I studied. We did not include one of the test in our exam so I wasn’t able to review it. I would rather say this through text rather than to hide it from you. Sorry, Mama.”
Then she replied, “You will not be able to hide that from me even if you do”
“I forbid you from going to any activities anymore. You always say that you will be better, but what happened? All you do is make me buy books. You’re grounded from everything. And also, I forbid you to play volleyball anymore.”
Then last thing she said, “I will burn your books.” And so then I cried.
On the way home, I was praying. I prayed that I control myself and not do anything that is not right. So my mom talked to me, a bit of nagging. She also talked to my subject teachers and in response, we get to have a take 2. I went upstairs and after a while, I got myself a hash brown cooked by my mom.
This is so much better than sleepless nights and worries.