Hi, my name is Ayana and I had a boyfriend who treated me sooo wrong, cheated on me with his so called “best friend” which is a girl, and has a new girlfriend who wants to beat me up. His mom doesn’t like me and I’m assuming it’s because he has told her lies about me trying to make it seem like I treated him wrong.
I have to go to the same church as them and every time I go my ex, his mom and new girlfriend have this devilish look in their eyes like they’ve won. It seems like they’re happy, but I feel that’s not fair cause they did me wrong when I did nothing but loved him and he hurt me.
Everyone in the church thinks his mom is so saved and sweet but she’s rude to me and doesn’t like me. When she’s in front of the church people she acts nice to me, but I know the truth. I feel like they have won because they seem happy and I’m in sooo much pain.
When I used to date him, he would never want to hold or kiss me in public but at the church he kissed her and held her. How come he does me wrong, but he gets someone to show off at church in front of me. I don’t have a guy to show off in front of him. He knows it hurts me and that makes him happy. Every time he hurts me, he smiles.
I want to kill myself. I feel like God is on their side and now a lot of people hate me because of him, which he has probably told them lies about me. I have cut my arm so many times and tried suicide, but God won’t let me go. Why me? When am I really going to be free from my ex? HELP ME!!!!
Precious Ayana
I am sorry to read about your pain and grieve
Many of us as people have gone through similar experiences…
But God says that we need to trust no person – only Him – for He is a friend indeed and will never leave you, reject you or forsake you. Please read 1 Corinthians 13 to learn about genuine love – God’s love for us
You need let go of what happened to you – do not allow it to make you sad, bitter, angry, frustrated… anymore.
Come to Jesus, let Him fill you with the beauty of His presence and peace.
You need to bring this matter to God and forgive each and everyone who hurt you – that’s how you will be set free from this thing which controls your emotions and perspective
Also read psalm 139 and see how God goes front of you, comes behind you, is always surrounding you. He knows what is best for you as He loves you like no one else ever did or will
Surrender yourself to God completely precious sister – ask Him to show His purpose and plan for your life – and you will be most amazed and comforted
God bless you
Now, this is just my thoughts, but it seems to me like he’s not the nicest of guys and you’re better off without him – hard to feel when he’s doing his best to make your life difficult, but you are.
I think the most important thing to remember here is that God *knows*. He knows you’re hurting, and he knows what’s in your heart – and your ex-boyfriend’s. It’s ok to feel angry, and sad – you’re human! So many passages in the old testament are written by people angry that they’re being put upon, downtrodden, abused and discriminated against by foreign powers, so you’re not alone. Try reading something like Psalm 77, and remember that God is the important one – NOT other people’s opinions of you.
Ex’s have an amazing capacity to make us hurt and doubt ourselves. At the moment I’m struggling to deal with the fact that my ex, who treated me like dirt for almost 2 years (with absolutely no sign of commitment) has just shacked up with his new girlfriend of 6 months. I’m trying to wish them well, and hope that he treats her better than me (but it’s hard!).
I don’t know if you know the poem ‘footprints in the sand’? Very calming and reassuring when you’re feeling alone – look it up on google if you don’t 🙂
Praying for you lots, and remember that however alone you feel – you’re not!
Tons of love,
Bee x x
Hello, Anaya. Bee gave you wonderful advice! There is no pain on this earth that the Lord can’t heal, if we truly seek his will. You know that cutting yourself, and attempting suicide, is counter to the Lord’s will for you. Do you want joy in your life again, or will you choose to continue lashing out at God by lashing out at his PRECIOUS child (You!)? Jesus loves you, and has always loved you. Only when you begin to trust Him will you see your life become joyful again. He has a wonderful plan for your life! “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope”. Jeremiah 29:11
Hi Anaya -Such a beautiful name (I believe the meaning of one’s name is very important – I searched for a long time before I named my children up until the moment I was about to deliver one did I decide 🙂
Your name means one who “looks up to God” and the “Answer of God or God answers”. With such a beautiful name this is not the time to doubt his presence actually no time is a good time.
I also agree with Bee – you are soooo Blessed to be rid of him and his family and his association with the best friend. Now you say “everyone in Church thinks he and his mom are saved and sweet but she’s rude to me and doesn’t like me but when she’s in front of the church people she acts nice to me but I know the truth.” Well since You know the truth – God does also! When you have a moment read Amos particularly 3:3 “Can two walk together, except they be agreed”. Because of their ill feeling and attitude toward you I think it would be hard for Christians walk daily with God and function like that.
You can be that shining ambassador that truly understands God’s mercy and love by living the life He blessed you with! And by praying for them that they be filled with His Spirit!
Blessed One, Take a moment to “look up to God” not to man’s failings and to be the “Answer of God” by maybe praising Him thru joining an association dedicated to helping others in need with your spare time.
Peace and Blessings
Thank You All Soooo Much,You Make Me Feel Like I Can Go On.I Will Take The Time To Read All The Scriptures You Gave Me.Now I Also Feel That Their Are People Out There Who Care.Thanks Sooo Much And May God Bless You.
Oh Ayana,
Sweetheart I can feel your pain. I was where you are in so many ways last March. I have an article called Heart Break on this website. I will share this with you as someone who has been where you are, God is on your side, He loves you. Jeremiah 29 vs 11 says He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper and not the harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. To be victorious in this situation, you need to take your eyes off your ex and his mom and girlfriend and place it right on God. You have to learn who you are in Christ. God says you are perfectly and wonderfully made, you are the apple of his eye. God is hurting that you are hurting. I remember when I went through something similar and my ex brought his new girlfriend to church and his family was so loving and nice towards her I felt like I could sink into the floor. I was so pained seeing it unfold before my eyes and it was then that I made the decision to go to another church for a while. Because this is happening before you, you are unable to focus on God even in church and trust me when I say he is the only one you need. God wants you closer to him. I had to remove myself from my church in order to heal and when it was time for me to return God prophesied through the Pastor of the church I was visting to tell me to return back to my church. Now I am back at the church and I am married, my ex is getting married next month and all is well. In fact I give God thanks that I did not marry my ex, because my husband is so wonderful and I knew I would be in pain being in my ex’s family. Girl count your blessings, give God thanks for sparing you the pain of being in a family that might not have accepted you. Understand that when man rejects you, God wants you more than ever. Do not give your ex the delight of keeping you in pain. You need to take your power back from his otherwise you will continue to be subjected to pain. Do not harm yourself because by harming yourself you are giving satan power over you. God will not let you go, you are the one that needs to let go off your ex and idea of being with him and holding onto God as much as he is holding onto you. My email is snbonner@gmail.com please send me an email, I so know how much pain you are going through, however as someone who has been where you are and in a year my life has turned around drastically…..Ayana your testimony today will not be your testimony tomorrow. All is well.
Hi Ayana,
Well i understand how you feel, but you got to undertsand one thing the lord saved you from getting into a big mess. May be your boyfriend was not the one the lord has chosen for you (Gen 2 : 18) It is not good for man to be alone i shall make him a helper to be his partner. So my dear think is your boyfriend the actual helper (partner) that god has planned for you. Dont be in a hurry, dont take a wrong decision, be calm. Jesus loves you and he died for you, he doesnt want to see you hurt but he wants to get you out of this and make you stronger.
Please do this and see what happens the lord will turn your mess into a victory. It may sound strange but gods ways are not mens ways ….. Bless your boyfriend, his girlfriend and the boyfriends mother, bless them each time you see them, thank the lord for them. The devil tried his shot in leaving you hurt but when you do this and thank the lord for healing the hurt that they caused the devil has to pay you seven times. Wait on the lord trust him and thank the lord for the right person, if he is the man the lord has chosen for you, he will get into you life being a changed person, a god fearing person and will love you unconditionally, but if he is not the one the lord will bring his plan in your life. You can email me if you want dsouzasienna977@gmail.com.
Bye takecare
Whenever these trying times come into my life, instead of focusing on the “object” that is causing me turmoil, I try to look behind the object, and ask this question:
“What is God trying to teach me?”
Then, the kingdom of God opens up for me.
Dwell on this question and go deep with God. “Lord, what could you be teaching me in this situation?” Get beyond the actual circumstance as it is smoke and mirrors. Find the root of what is going on with God. The boy, his mom, the church, etc. these are not the root of things with God.. they are what you see.
Look for the unseen in the situation and when it is found, you’ll find praise on your lips for what He is doing in the trial/tribulations of your life: Forming you into the image of His Son.
Be careful little eyes what you see…. In my life, it’s either a trap of satan or it’s a lesson from God. It is up to us to decide what we choose to dwell on. Then, whatever our choice is, our body, emotions, further thoughts, etc will follow.
Choose God and we choose things of God: peace, goodness, love, kindness, contentment, joy, etc. Choose satan’s trap, and we choose the things of satan: stress, pain, hurt, sorrow, depression, etc.
Choose this day who you will serve. The mind is the battleground between Good and Evil. It’s a spiritual war going on for your soul..
Remember this saying, because if we don’t choose to see God in such situations, the same events happen in our lives again, and again, and again.. Until sooner or later, the Lord opens our eyes. They can be opened now, or they will be opened later after many years of similar events happening. Ultimately, the choice is ours: “Choose wisely student of life! Learn the lesson or retake the course, it’s that simple.”
Satan is a thief, and he is stealing your joy. Disappoint him! Choose God. Pray! “God, I don’t know what you’re doing here in this situation, but IT IS WRITTEN: All things work together for the good, for those that love God. So Lord, I know I love you, and this means that this situation is working out for the good for me because you promised. Help me see what you’re doing. I don’t see it now, but I believe in you. Help me understand what you’re doing.” Then, tell Satan: “It is written: Greater is He that is in me than he that is in this world! Jesus has authority over you and He is with me. Jesus taught me to speak to the mountain. I command you away from my presence in His name, amen.”
Sister, this is spiritual warfare.. and you must use God’s word to fight. (Read Eph 6:10-18)
Lord, our great battle warrior who stands at our side. Fight for this child of yours. Help her Helper, Guide her Guider, Protect her Protector, Comfort her Comforter and Teach her Teacher. Mold her Molder. In Jesus name, amen.
In love,
joseph
Ayana,
I know you’re hurting, but like other people have said, the only way to truly overcome the pain is to forgive them. It is such a hard thing to do when you’ve been hurt so badly by these people. But trust in the Lord and pray. He will answer your prayer. It might not happen over night, but He feels your pain too and is right by your side suffering with you. In time, He will give you the strength to move forward. Know that everything happens for a reason and although you can’t see it now, God has greater plans for you.
PLEASE don’t harm yourself. It is not the solution to any problem. You will get through this. Have faith, be strong and pray, pray, pray!!
You’re in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless your beautiful soul! <3
My Dearest Girl,
If anyone human being on earth can feel your pain right now it is I.
My girlfriend of 3 yrs. whom I loved with all of my humanly heart, left me because of money problems and with in 1 week has met a wealthier more stable man then me.
I begged her to give me some more time but she fell in love with him after only 4 dates and she tells me they are considering marriage.
I know your pain and I understand the feelings you are going through and you are not alone.
All we can do right now is TRUST in GOD and PRAY.
I forgot to add my email.
If you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me.
sptrader@rogers.com
God put us on this earth as a test. Everything we do in life that is good, we will be rewarded for it, and every sin will be accounted for in the next life. Ayana, although it may feel like you are losing to your ex and his family and whoever else, but you are winning in the eyes of God by being a better person. Forgive all those who have wronged you (as hard as it may be) and allow God to judge them, for He is the only One who has the authority to judge.
God loves all His children, including you. You are not alone in this world. You have reached out and people have heard you. Please never consider taking your life again. I beg you, as my sister attempted to take hers, the pain of that never goes away. Your life is a gift straight from God, it is only God that can give life or take it away. Your life is so precious, noone can take that away from you. Thank the Lord for all the good things in your life and you will learn to appreciate the blessings God has instilled in you.
Thanks soo much all of you.
Anaya
I was read your story.I do understand how your felt inside pain.Plus i looked all who they left message for u..Wow seem they love happy suppose care to u and too they want couage to u very importment yourself good life be happy..Yes true u need take time want reading the bible book alway more help u..Make u feel better more understand what your want change life and keep prayer asking to God..Sure God alway love listen your story what u want be happy or new life..Don’t worry your ex..Just let him go own life that okay..U still your same church and still he there..U should move other new church again new more friends will happy take care for u..I do understand that your decison..Sure God love u alway never left u and want see u feel diff change be humble and many things so wonderful u will feeling go move on your own really wonderful..This bible book keep strong with u..U will alots learning keep remmy what bible book and God teach u..I hope yourself start enjoy,join new who peoples are christian love heart God,s word..Don’t giving up never never..Keep stay your strong stand up show right your feel express..Very importment for u..Right bible book eph 6:10 verse to 18 that true..Who christian peoples still love u alway..Thanks your sharing..Keep reading and prayer ask to God..AMEN
Hey Anaya
I forget add for u..Importment u must trust God.Yes that true..Thanks
Hi Ayana,
I am actually not sorry for you cuz i have learnt hard lessons that i would have never learnt in times like this. Depression, anger, self pity all this is a keep at bay to a true christian ! take joy in what is happening to for God works it all for your Good. Be glad that God had removed such a person from your life and see what Good and great relief is its for a life time ? and see what you have learnt out of it. So praise God and i will pray for you to come over and fight the evil every time u see him . Be strong ! and God is never late !
Love
Divya
I totally understand how deeply you hurt. I too have lived this very similar scenario. I was with a man for 7 years who used me ,verbally and emotionally abused me. We ended up having a daughter. He also had a “friend” who complicated our relationship. He always denied it. I finally was tired of the abuse and lies and I found the strength to leave him. He ended up dating this girl and now they are engaged after only 4 months of dating. It hurt deeply, since I put in so “much work” and she recieved the benefits of my labor. Not to mention she interfered tremendously while he and I were together. I blamed myself a lot, but realized that God has a bigger plan for me. As mentioned already; your are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God will not forsake you, nor leave you alone. He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope for a good future. He will heal your brokem heart, and not only he will replace a good man in your life when you are completely healed. Understand, that you truly deserve better. The man that you were dating would not have been good for you because your standard of a man was more than he could offer you. Good will send someone perfect for you, someone who will love cherish and respect you. Keep your eyes focused on God and he will keep you in perfect peace. Meanwhile, work on you. Ask God to restore your confidence, to show you his will for your life. You are victorious and you will shine brighter than diamonds. Remember your worth is far above rubies! be blessed!
hi Anaya. Praise Jesus for bringing u in this world. and bcoz he has brought u in this world means tht he has a plan for u. nd his plans r perfect. people believe what they see, wats so gud in tht. believe in God whom u can’t see. that’s strength. if u kill urself then u would be wasting His efforts. He has saved u. Anaya it’s an advice from a believing frnd that whenever feel like asking him Why me? instead ask Him ” What do u want me learn thru this experience” ask Him and He will reply…
I will also pray for you frnd bcoz i am also going through similar situation.. so HANG ON… give Him thanks for everything… u’ll see tht He will work wonders in ur life… hallelujah for the Lamb of God…..
hey girl.
i know how you feel.
this is my story of what the Lord did for me.
when i was young & foolish i did a magic spell to attract love. big mistake. it turned back on me as a snare & ruined my life.
my friends b/f started to like me & she kind of pushed us together when they broke up. he was older than me but i used to mock him & didnt take him seriously. he said he was in love with me at the very start of our relationship which gave me the impression he was nuts, & caused me to disrespect him even more.
it was all a big joke to me but little did i know i was playing with fire.
he was viscious & cruel from the beginning. i would recoil from his attacks, but when i withdrew from him he would desperately pursue me in tears.
i kept forgiving him because i felt sorry for him.
im not sure what happened, but i think cupid must have shot me with an arrow or something, because i started having feelings for this guy. the abuse continued & i got trapped in a cycle. he tried to make me think i was crazy, he pressured me into taking drugs. the instability his influence created caused me to drop out of high school.
the abusive relationship continued for 2 years until i finally had enough & gave him an ultimatum that we either got serious & got married & went to counselling to get the relationship healthy or we end it altogether.
i didnt know at the time that there was a word for people like him; commitmentphobe. heh.
we had a messy break up.
i loved him very deeply, but i thought i would be able to make the feelings go away somehow. i had a strong will & thought that would be enough. i kept waiting & waiting for my aching, torn, bleeding heart to heal. time went on & on & it didnt get better.
no matter what i did or where i went, i could only think of him. every breath i took. every second of every day ticked over like slow motion, thinking of him.
i looked for him around every corner. everywhere i went i hoped to see him. i was an obsessed love addict. there was no help for me.
i spent my days looking forward to the evening so i could go and be asleep & unconscious, because the only rest i had from it all was when i was dreaming. then when i awoke, the first thought of the day was of him & so on until the last thought before i went to sleep which was of him too.
it was a miserable existence. i was in bondage.
i plunged into alcoholism in an effort to escape & nearly destroyed myself. i was the character from “devdas”.
i felt like my ex was walking around with a jar in his pocket that contained my soul. i suppose our souls were knit together. but in a really sick way.
every time i chased him up for some kind of closure, he would boast about what an awesome time he was having partying without me & how his latest gf was so beautiful etc. i felt like he was shoving an iron bar through my already shattered glass.
i prayed constantly, night & day, begging God please deliver me..God please set me free. God fix this or let me die. make this end. please!
i exhausted myself in every way struggling & trying to get free.
i prayed for God to choose someone new for me & i met someone special & knew he was the one, but i was still plagued by the toxic love for my ex.
i decided that maybe i just needed to marry my new man & all my troubles would magically melt away. well needless to say they didnt.
my poor husband it was like the movie ‘corpse bride’.
i was broken, incomplete. i wondered how could i be good to anyone?
i couldnt make sense of my past. i felt utterly used up & thrown away like a piece of garbage. i felt my future had been stolen.
i was faithful & loyal to my husband for years but one day he decided he didnt want me anymore. it was over & he was leaving me. i was shocked & couldnt believe what was happening. i begged, cried & pleaded with him not to leave me. he eventually had pity on me & said he would stay, but somewhere in me something clicked. the damage was already done & i felt i had already lost him. my security was gone.
i came clean about everything & was honest about what was hapening & i told my poor husband about my runaway heart. he was loving & supportive.
i suffered a long time. it was 10 years, night & day, mental, emotional & spiritual anguish & torture.
of not being able to shut off the pining, gaping, bleeding, void heart & dull ache of a shattered soul.
with constant flashbacks of my ex & the abuse. i was full of scars.
i had been in denial the whole time. i would never allow myself to admit the shameful, hurtful, humiliating truth. that i loved my ex uncontrollably, unconditionally. but when i came to the end of myself i decided that because i could not beat it, i would embrace it.
it was surprisingly relieving to admit & accept that; even though i didnt want it to be true, because i had been fighting against it & i was so tired of the constant battle. it was like the force of holding a balloon under water.
i couldnt take anymore. i couldnt understand why God was not listening to my prayers to end my suffering. i decided to take things into my own hands.
i went crazy & started pursuing my ex.
i thought that if i could not free myself from him that it must be Gods will for us to be together.
well my ex didnt want me. he had his own life with someone else.
he wouldnt even speak to me.
i found out my ex was terminally ill & he died shortly after i tried to contact him.
i could tell the very moment when he died too, because my soul returned to me. it was like a miracle. after so many years of suffering i was whole again.
my ex visited me in a dream a few days after he died. he didnt say anything, but he looked very sorry.
do you know what i believe happens when you die?
you get a life review & you feel every feeling your actions ever caused anyone else to have. Jesus also feels everything too. so no matter what youre going through, know that youre not alone.
my ex pledged his love to me. he promised to love me forever. if you read “the testimony of olga’s visit to hells entrance” you will see that our promises are binding. we must keep our word.
i believe God judged between us & now my life is restored, im healing & free to love my husband.
i asked the Lord to give to me the what my ex had stolen & God has answered my prayers.
my husband & i just had our 10 year anniversary & we now have a beautiful baby. my life is good & my heart is free to wholly love Jesus.
my advice would be to hang in there. pray for & love those causing you hurt & suffering & trust God, because He is just & He is good. He has not forgotten you.
He works all things out for the good of those that love Him.
if we, His children, set something above God He will (in His mercy) take it from us.
this is a horrible story but i just wanted to share it in case someone else might learn from my hard lesson.
as st. birgitta prayed; “blessed be you my God, who permit me to be troubled, for through tribulation i know i belong to you.
therefore, distribute to me patience & strength to endure”
praise the Lord & Glory to God in the highest!
Pour burning coals on their heads…
make sure you get it from a hot stove too
and show no mercy 😛
Lol
think spiritual
Fightback with LOVE
This will convict them of their wrongs
and pray.
This goes for all of you when
somebodys treating you bad.
You don’t have to feel bad yourself
But be different…
” Do good to those who persecute you”