Break Down Stronghold!

Hi my name is Chris. This stronghold i am facing is pleasure please excuse word but masturbation. I know papa knows my struggles and weakness, but when it comes a chance to run to him i hide or argue. I do not want to anymore, i know it hurting papa and mine relationship and affecting others as well. I would to not only listen when he talks but act as well and stop. I believe he has giving another chance and he has been faithful. The problem i see is me not being, It bugs me so. Last weekend i was feeling alone and cried out( i was missing a girl i have not been able to see for a while and sunday July 23rd she text me with a sincere message and checking on me and that’s when i knew he answered, i was so happy praise to papa who takes care of us you know). And then the next day which is July 24th i pull this stupid stunt and feel really crappy and dirty and ashamed that i can not stop. Before it was maybe every other week but now its every other 2 or 3 days. I confess i’m worried what’s going to happen. I am a little hopeful that good well come from this but right now i can not shake the feeling i have from maybe letting down papa and i do not know loosing more wonderful moments like that sunday. Please help pray for me. I read a little bit ago about a gent who had the same problem on here as me and if papa did it for him. I hope for me to. Plus i much rather go to papa and have praise reports not these stupid moments like when i was a kid and was bad, parent talks and or walks over and says “again! i thought i told you that was bad?” and then i am like “i could not help it.” I do not think that works like that with papa and an adult. (doubting is annoying of me just saying). Thank you for taking the time and reading!