I made the decision today, to stop binge drinking/ partying. I’m 27… And should have made this decision a long time ago. Let me tell you how I got here…
I grew up in an extremely Christian home like an… I’ve never heard my parents say a bad word, Christian home. We went to a small church for my entire upbringing… And if the doors were open, we were there. I loved it though… As I got older, I became so involved in our extremely small youth group. I knew what it was to feel Gods presence, to know He was real and listening to me… Just a nobody. I lead worship at church for a few years even.
My parents were very strict growing up. I couldn’t go hang out like a lot of other kids were doing bc there might be “bad things” going on there. I got married at 19… Just a baby… And I’m still married to him, the love of my life.
I went from living under my parent’s roof to being married and being able to make my own decisions about who I wanted to be!!! I had never felt so much freedom… Heck if I wanted to have a band poster on my wall, my parents weren’t going to be able to tell me to take it down.
I had tasted alcohol before. But never fully got the effect of being drunk because I always had to go home. Well, when I got married, I began to experiment with it. And there were several nights of partying involved. I couldn’t get enough. Until one night where I should have died.
I drank so much… Puked in Waffle House… And was barely conscious. The next day was Thanksgiving with the in-laws. And man, they can cook. But I didn’t get to enjoy that because I was puking out of my mouth and nose. After that night, I made the decision to no longer drink. I was scared. It lasted for about 6 months and then I fell back into the same habits, until present day… Like as in today.
I’m making the decision to stop drinking again. I’ve compromised my health… And missed so many things because of either a party. Or I was too hungover from a party. I would often tell God that just this one last party and then I’m going to stop… But that didn’t work.
Today… I came home after work and broke down crying and praying for God’s mercy and forgiveness. I never thought I had a problem because I don’t drink everyday… Just on the weekends… But a lot… And this has gone on for too long.
My husband is still a musician, so I will still be in compromising situations… But I’m asking any of you reading this to please pray that I can remain strong. Last night he played and I had a single beer… And the rest water, I woke up so proud of the fact that I could go to work and not be hungover or regret my decisions from the previous night.
I eventually want to have kids and want to be around for them. I am praying for my husband too. He also grew up in a similar background as me. He has kind of turned away from God… I pray that God will heal both of our hearts and ask that you pray for us also. This isn’t going to be an easy thing for me.., but I needed to write it all out. So that it becomes real. 7/24/15…. The start of a new life.