I am so scared and in need of help. I am 23 years old, and I have a beautiful 5-year-old daughter who is my world. I am currently in a long-term relationship and feel like I’m suffocating more and more every day. The relationship started off rocky when we first met, he was great I felt so incredibly happy that I found someone that made me laugh and smile and made me feel loved. I treated him with so much love. he did not have a car. I dropped him off and picked him up from work, took him lunch and coffee every day, got him out of probation, and paid some of his bills when he couldn’t. He needed so much love and affection and he appreciated everything I did for him.
He started spending time with my daughter. Then he started talking to his ex-girlfriend behind my back. He slept with her and me in the same week. I was devastated he ended up telling me he was confused, and he still loved her and was gonna give her another chance. My heart shattered I felt like a fool but decided I would just let him go after all we only dated for a month, I cut off all bases with him.
After about a week I received a text from him apologizing for a huge mistake he told me he realized it was me he wanted to be with and he would do whatever it tool to make things right with me, so I forgave him but I never forgot and we began our journey together he became so wonderful I moved in with him and he took care of me like a princess I felt everything was going to be just fine and it was for about a year .
We began arguing more and more he would do things like be on porn sites and create accounts to find women all of this brought fear and distrust in him, I have forgiven him and tried to leave things in the past but any odd behavior from him scares me. We have now been together for 3 years and I am at a breaking point. Arguments have been bad, and he blames me for a lot in the relationship.
I apologize constantly for things he does sometimes I get these panic attacks and anxiety when he talks about leaving me. I feel as if I want to die. I feel like I’m being attacked by the devil. I have thoughts about suicide in so many different ways. I try so hard to come to God and beg him for mercy and help because I know I cannot so this on my own. I have become depressed.
I feel alone as if no one loves me. He is not affectionate he doesn’t comfort me and acts like he really does not care anymore. I don’t know what to do. I’m losing myself. Me and my daughter love him so much and I wanna be happy with him, but I just don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I’m so scared. I know that I have my own issues and I’m not perfect, but I feel his soul disconnecting from mine he is mean to me sometimes please pray for me.
I feel the devil has me wrapped around and keeps attacking me every chance he gets. If I start feeling happy it goes away fast. I can hear him in my head telling me the ugliest things about myself, telling me it is all my fault. I need to be ok. For me for my daughter. I feel I need to really give it my all in this relationship, but it’s come to the point where I can’t feel God by my side, I don’t hear him talking to me. What can I do? How can I make this pain go away?
First and foremost, (and this is going to be hard at first), you really REALLY need to get away from this guy. He seems like he doesn’t know what he wants quite yet in a relationship and still wants to continue ‘sowing his wild oats’. My daughter went through something very similar to this and her ordeal lasted about two years. There were a lot of mind games. I watched her go through some extremely difficult times, but she is very happy now. Please don’t even consider suicide. NOBODY is worth that. You have a daughter too in which you love and truly need to keep her in mind as well. The porn sites in which you mentioned is nothing but true sin and temptation. This guy needs a lot of prayer and who knows, he could end up turning his life over to the LORD! Prayer works for real. You sound like a wonderful, caring and loving person and you and your daughter both deserve much better than that. JUST PRAY. The right person will come along one day. Maybe it’s him – maybe it will be someone else. Preferably a Christian man for sure. Trust me when I say this – you are NOT alone in what you are going through, even though you may feel like it right now. Things WILL get better for you. I don’t even know you but I will be praying for you myself. Take care and thank the good LORD that you have your beautiful daughter too! There are always things in life we have to go through but remember; it makes you a stronger person once you get through it…and you will get through it! GOD BLESS!
Susan,
I want to thank you for your advice and your kind words . these past few days i have realised that there is allot that I am risking to be with this guy and I just cant deal with it anymore I have been trying to make things better but they just seem to get worse. I have decided to leave it the situation gods hands and focus my toughts emotions and feelings on the lord and my daughter. I will continue to move foward. I am standing up for myself and even if it means letting go of him . I will pray for him and ask the lord to help him in whatever it is he is going trough that makes him be the way he is. I am gona start the process of leaving all of this behind and start a new life with my daughter. Thank you so much I am so happy to know that there are people like you who just help me by praying for me because my heart calls for god. Thank you so much !
Hi honey, I am sorry for what you have been going through. And you know what? Your Heavenly Father loves you and also wants you to feel comforted, loved, special, beautiful, happy and peaceful. I can imagine Him looking down from Heaven with compassion on you, just wanting to lift you up in His hands and fill you with the most incredible joy you’ve ever experienced. Can I ask you a question? Do you know that Jesus died for every mistake, sin, failure you have and will ever commit? Have you asked Jesus to come into your heart and received the Holy Spirit? If not my sweet sister, take heart! God is calling you to Him. I believe that He will be your light in this dark valley. Sometimes God lets bad things happen in our lives to show us His goodness- not out of His power, but out of our disobedience as sinners. It’s good you are praying to the Lord and asking Him for help. He hears you. He listens to every single prayer- spoken and unspoken. Trust that He has heard you and wait. No matter how long it takes, wait. Because we walk by faith and not by sight (or feelings), so wait patiently for the Lord to guide you. Do you have a bible, sister? If not, I really recommend getting one. If so, I suggest you read it whenever you feel like you can’t handle life anymore. And those evil thoughts are indeed from the enemy, but he is a defeated foe and the God of peace will soon crush satan from under your feet. Satan knows you are drawing closer to the Lord and he doesn’t like it, so he tries to fill your mind with evil thoughts. Resist the devil and he WILL flee from you! Better yet, praise God for everything He has done for you!
Keep the faith sis. Love Sarah
Sarah,
Thank you for your words I appreciate each and every one of them. I would like you to know that the most important thing to me at this momets is to get closer to god I will continue to trust in him and I beleive he will save me from my troubles . Thank you so much !
Dear beloved
God loves you, do not despair. Run to God and tell him exactly what you have just written in the page. You will be shocked how smoothly he will rescue you. You need to be born again and move out of that house. Allow Jesus to solve this problem and he could help him also because God loves you both.
Pastor Elsie.
My sister let me encourage you young lady. The Lord is so amazing in His perfect ways and techniques. I believe the reason He allows us to go through hard times and bad relationships is to force us to let go of wordly desires and draw nearer to Him. In those quiet midnight hours or the busy daytime hours He is the only one who can step in and fill the voids heal the heartaches the quiet moments. You were created by Him and for Him so do not settle and compromise yourself for any man. Im encouraging you in learning from my own experiences. Each day gets just a little bit easier when we let go of what separates us from Him whether its premarital sex living together outside of marriage unhealthy relationships…Draw nearer to the Great Lord in those trying times read a Bible prayer believe and Trust Him. You are right all that is the devil trying to pull you away. Push through perservere press on toward Christ and let all that go. In time He will strengthen and Bless you beyond measure.
Believe that He is still in control. And one of the best things
from a 35 year old single and satisfied woman
…one of best things to do to get over heartache is volunteering and serving others it can be rewarding and so uplifting plus helps you put things in perspective.
cbyf Says:
August 2nd, 2011 at 2:54 pm
After that happened. It seemed that I began to do alot of soul searching. Before my divorce my husband and I separted. I see that I was the one holding on when he did not want to. I was the one who would see him with other women and make myself believe that he was just giving them a ride. I would go to his apartment and see that a women was there. Then I found myself doing the same thing with this guy. He would tell me he was seeing someone else but I made myself believe that he was just saying that. He would tell me in his own way to leave him alone but I found myself making excuses to call him. It wasn’t until he yelled.
Since then I really have been doing some soul searching asking God why do I do that. Why do I try so hard holding on to someone who don’t want me. I want to write all of this, just so someone else can read and learn. That if a man do not want you. Please, you cannont make anyone love you or be with you. I went all the way back to my child hood and seen how clinging I was. Always around people and trying to fit in. Once I got in, I did not want out. I would see people actually peek out window and I would leave and come back. I would call a person 5 times and wonder why didn’t they call back. I didn’t see none of that until
I cried out to God and asked why did I need that love. I loved my parents. But then divorce. They divorced when I was about 7 years old. We lived a community were there were families. Maybe that was it.
But as the Holy Spirit ministered to me. I knew God loved me so much more that any person could ever love me.My soul needs that unconditional love that I seeked man for. God is the only that can provide that. I put myself into those situations. It’s like a person putting you out somewhere far and you always find your way back to them. It annoyed them so much that it angered them and made me come back for more punishment.
I tell you I took a time out. CRIED CRIED. I think the Holy Spirit made me see what I did and is doing it again.
I take one day at a time. Knowing that God is the only one you love m and will never leave me or forsake me.
Thank you everyone so much for all your prayers and advice . I am so happy to know that there are do many faithfull people who will just pray with me it means so much. My focus is and will continue to be on the lord . praise GOD
Hi Find28,
I thank the Lord for all the encouragement given to you by my fellow brethren. I thank God that there are people t stand in the gap with you.
I once went through a major heartbreak. After loving a guy with all that I am, the love was not returned back to me. I cried myself to sleep and even during the day got tormented by the whole emotional turmoil. Its after about 1 year of crying that I realised that i had to let go and let God. God took the burden and turned it around. I started feeding on the word and i knew for sure those who find it, find life. I found life! He took every little piece of my broken heart and mended it. I cut communication from my boyfriend, fed and fed and fed on the word. I felt new and could sleep like a baby.
Later after a long time, my boyfriend realised how foolish he was. He was remorseful. He even got born again and changed his foolish ways. I let him grow up first. This took a while. I never could have rushed it. Now we are back together and happy and hoping soon we get married. We talk about God, sing together and God continues to hold our hand as we mature in faith.
To sum it up; MOVE OUT,FEED ON THE WORD TILL YOU ARE OBESE :-),PRAY AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU TOO.Please listen to preachings in http://www.davidoyedepoministries.org/worship and then go to ‘Windows media Archive’ click on ‘sunday service’ and then below there choose a topic.
THOSE WHO WAIT UPON HIM SHALL NEVER BE PUT TO SHAME.
Thank You thank you! I continue to pray to god to move my situation around Im working on getting myself to a better place .. Thank you so much for your prayers they are greatly appreciated .. God bless you
Hey girl, I read the first 2 paragraphs and I was done..you need to let go of that guy..we can love people sometimes but not be able to be with them..just pray for god to take away ur feelings for him in that way..it might hurt to get away but time heals and then ull look back on this and realize what uve done was the best..this I want u to stop sayin “u feel unloved and alone”..YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER..I got prego when I was 15..my mom told me, there will be times when u go thru rough relationships and u think noone loves you, but remember when u feel unloved know that u have a child, that will love u no matter what..and on top off that u have god (whom loves u more than anyone or anything on this earth)..we can tell u what u need to do, but ur the one who will have to actually pray and seek god for guidance..he is listening!..and I’m sure god wouldn’t want u in a relationship that is bad..ex. if u have children..don’t let ur daughter c u go thru that stuff..I pray for you girly, to get what ur lookin for..may god bless u and help u get the strength u need to get thru it.
Honey, I agree with Tabatha %100. I think when we are are in these relationships we look for some titanic sign from God about what we are supposed to do. God also gives us good ole common sense but too often we analyze things too much as wait for some lightening lettering in the sky (trust me, I KNOW). I seems like you are acting on what you already know you need to do lol. I am praying for you and trusting that God will deliver you to the place where HE wants you to be.
Dear, continue to trust in the lord remember his promise – He wll never leave nor forsake US.he is with you in ALL. I encourage you to find a church were you will fellowship with other christians and engage yourself in activites in the church. It helps in your spiritual growth. If you are not baptisted in the Holy spirit pls do. He is the greatest comforter and with him you can do all things for he will give you strength and guide you always.
Finally pray always surrendering ALL your feelngs to GOD and take each day at a time. Read the word honey ALL answers are in the WORD.