It has been almost a year since I’ve talked Jonathan, the guy who means so much to me. But before him there was a guy I liked so much named Brooks, but Brooks didn’t like me back, and it showed. I was a freshman in high school when Brooks found out I like him. To him and his friends they felt this was the biggest joke ever. I just couldn’t get over him, mainly because I’ve never like a guy before, for such a long time. A part of me wanted to just forget about him and the way he treated me, yet I still felt we were destined to be together (silly me). In high school I was known as the “quiet girl”. I find it extremely hard to make friends, leading me to become lonely.
I found it very hard to be myself around people, mainly because the fear of rejection, which I experience all the time. I was picked on and talked about a lot without reason, all the time. I never responded only because I didn’t want anything more hurtful said to me. I had only one friend throughout my years in grade school, but she too was talking behind my back.
So, here I am now with absolutely no one to call a friend. I never told my parents what was going on at school because I didn’t want them to know how horrible their little girl’s life was. But I do remember praying continuously to God that he would somehow get Brooks to like me, to heal the loneliness in my heart and I would be forever thankful. I wasn’t really a true Christian, I would call on God when I needed him or wanted something, but nothing more. But I do remember when God spoke to me saying
“Let him go, and I will bring someone better.”
At first, I didn’t understand because I didn’t want to believe God was telling me to let Brooks go. I got upset because Brooks was the first guy I’ve actually like and now God is telling me to let him go? And over and over again God kept telling me “I have someone better.” I just didn’t understand at the time and i surely didn’t want to let go… but I eventually did. I was
And then there came Jonathan. He transferred to my school our junior year. I didn’t really think anything of him. I saw how he became popular really fast. He was raised in a Christian home, and it showed. He was winning all sorts of awards his first year here (prom king, homecoming and sweetheart court)! I couldn’t even begin to explain how many people like him. There was something so different about him, that I couldn’t explain. I didn’t like him at the time, but I knew a lot of girls did. I found out he wasn’t interested in one of the most popular girls in our grade which was shocking because she was pretty, smart, and outgoing… everything I wasn’t.
If I ever did like him, it would almost be too good to be true if he like me back. He seemed like the type of guy who was looking for someone perfect. I didn’t understand what was so special about him. Until I met him. Somehow there was rumor going around that I wanted to fight his sister (which was not true at all). That got his attention and I remember Jonathan always watching me. Every time I would see him, he would be staring at me, and I stare back. I didn’t think anything of it until I heard one of his friends told me how he said I stare a lot and that I looked mean. I was shocked because he was staring first!
Time went on and we were still running into each other. I would see him everywhere I went, and we would make eye contact every time, but never did we speak. I remember walking in the jam-packed hallway trying to get to my class and I was waiting for the right time to cross because the hallways were so packed. All of a sudden, I see Jonathan walking up and he starts to move to the side of the hallway…holding up the crowd…to let me pass. That was the moment I will never forget.
Time went on and I began to REALLY like this guy. Long story short… it kinda seemed like he like me too? I didn’t want to believe it because like i said, it was too good to be true. I said ‘hey’ to him one day… and everything started from there. He always made every effort to say hey to me even in front of his friends (the ones I didn’t get along with). I would catch him staring at me and smiling all the time.
Sometimes I would ignore him to see if would say hey to me and he still did! He was the sweetest person. He would do little things like follow me to the water fountain to start a conversation or try to be somewhere I was. He is great with people, but he always got red in the face when he talked to me. I can’t even explain how I felt about him. He made me so happy. How could he possibly like someone like me? Could this be the person God brought in my life in replace of Brooks?
I constantly became dependent on Jonathan to make me happy. When he didn’t say “hey” to me i became extremely upset and when he did, I was happy. After school ended, we kept in touch for a little while until something little happened that led us to not talk anymore. I was heartbroken. I became so angry because I didn’t understand why God would take someone so great out of my life. And I felt like God was telling me “No man comes before me; I am a jealous God.”
Long story short, my pain led me to seek God, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made! The pain I was receiving from my heart break was God’s way of telling me “I want to be your everything, don’t look towards man to fulfill your needs.” I began to seek God and I love Him with all of my heart, and He has become my absolute best friend.
But it has been almost a year since I’ve talked to Jonathan, and my feelings for him haven’t changed. I still think about him almost every day. I ask God to take away the feelings away if that is not His will for me, but He hasn’t. But if it is I pray to God that He would open Jonathan’s heart back to me because I care for him so much. I’m not sure if God ONLY used that relationship to draw us closer together or could there possibly be a possible future for Jonathan and me? Sometimes I feel as if he could be saying “it’s not time…”
Hi,
It is very nice to see how you are holding God. As you know our God is a great God. We will never understand his way but he will lead thro’ the best route all well planned but… it will be late (sometimes by days or months or years – as we know from Bible)
I am almost in similar state and same words I am using like yours “God if it is not your will please remove from my heart” But it is not yet removed.
Same time God showed me that I ll be with the person I have in heart. I got only that hope and I am trying not to communicate with him from myside. Because if it is God’s will then God will make him to call me.
Yes our Lord is a possessive God! He will see how much we love him and how long we will wait for him. Hold on to your prayers ask him to put his wish inside your heart, pray and forget all worries. Try to be happy and he will lead you. If you become weak go and cry to him ask him to talk to you, fast and pray he will answer. I wont say you will get him but if he is a suitable person in front of God’s eyes he will bring or he will not. Instead he will show you a wonderful person.
I’m going through the same thing I have my ex in my dreams n visions n other stuff. I’ve prayed for him to remove that if its not his will but if it is to confirm it n he has twice. I’ve been tempted to meet other people but a whole lot if events happen when I do. Events that happen in church n people around me that stop me. At one point I thought it was Satan messing with me through church people but one night I asked GOD to confirm n he,certainly did in a big way. So that where I’m at waiting on him but at the same time growing with him n staying busy.
Hi,
Reading the above testimony, i am wondering if God is talking thro all u guys!!!???!!!!
God showed in my dream about the person in my heart. As said like Jay, I ask God to confirm it again. He did it!! And He did atleast 4-5 times.
Still I am a human, I am asking him again and I am asking Him thrp fasting prayer… it is almost 2 weeks no answer yet… but i am having a guess if he is asking me to read ur testimony… and Jai’s reply…!!!
Let us all wait in his door on his feet…
Hi princy.. you got an email add? You sound like your going thur the same..
God will do what he says he will do just stand by his word
Thanks shon. It’s right though its natural for us to feel like this. I feel my faith hits rock bottom and then confusion n doubts pop up. But after all that something inside doesn’t allow me to get off the path. You just got to believe n have faith.
Im an asian, i had always desired my man to be white and not asian and many other qualites, i belong to a very conservative family, they believe in arrange marriages, i thought i was never going to live my dreams, one day i told Jesus with very little hope about what i wanted in my soulmate, about 2-3 months later i met one such white guy, exactly how i had dreamed of, he had all that i wanted in my man, even his occupation matched with what i had desired, and it was beyond my expectation, i knew i never deserved him but God doesnt see how much you deserve, he just want you to ask and leave the rest on him, i cudnt have found one such guy with my own efforts but God brought him without me doing anything and this relationship went on for 5 years, i was over the moon but one day he left to australia to look after his family.
From there my story began, i cried all night long, utterly disappointed and sad, asking God why he took him away from me and how happy was he to see me feeling betrayed at heart, i had many doubts and hatred towards God.
But Jesus kept on telling me the same thing over and over and over again…….I brought you together but my temples (him and i) lied in ruins we were enslaved to worldy things and that he has great plans or us both, he is going to give us a new heart of flesh a new spirit and cleanse us from all our sins and for that he had to scatter us, one day when he has purified us and made us holy the time will come when he will restore this relationship, he will bring her back together to serve the Lord and that brought peace into my heart.
Its been one and a half year since i last met this wonderful man of my dreams, i know it was God who brought him bcoz this separation took me closer to Christ and did not destroy me so i thank God every day for saperating us because i found my eternal life in Jesus thru this temporary sorrow, God will bring you both together, wait on him, he will never fail you my dear ones.
God gives BEYOND our expectation not below our expectation he is GOD after all.
During this time God changed me completely, i never thought i can ever feel this holy, 1st december 2011 i was baptizd with the holyspirit at night time, can never forget that night, his holyspirit is guiding me since then, he is a wonderful God, he is doing miracles after miracles in my life, your season is about to come, let GOD make you strong to enable you both to fulfill His work through you, remember when God is changing you, he is changing your soul mate also at the same time you guys will be amazed seeing how God brings you guys together, remain in faith, please do not interrupt in God’s work by doubting him, he has mighty plans not only for the two of you but both your generations.
God bless you, hope never disappoints us :)
@asian what keeps u waiting n not doubt? It’s hard at times I feel that its all in my head. I as well have gone through a growth with GOD that’s incredible. I no longer do the things I used to before. By faith I do a lot of things he has told me to do but the patient part to wait on him clouds my thinking at times.
Jay,
I have id: princypriya2010[at]yahoo[dot]com
I think God has blessed us with this topic. PL see my msg on 1st nov.
After reading this topic I have decided to change my prayer as ” Father pl save him then bring to me ( he is a hindu)” because I got hope that since God showed him to me he will bring. The mistake I make was: He is a hindu, so I decided like, let him be a hindu and let me be into Christ. Cose Lord have told us, If you are in me then I ll save ur family. But, if i allow him as such he will bring all his hindu idols inside the home. So from 1st Nov(after reading this topic) i decided to change my prayer. Father, please save him, please make him accept Jesus and then bring to me. My mind and heart is at peace now.
In past 1 month he called me 2nd time and his conversation was very normal, Nothing about future, no mails. I called him 2 times – before nov 1st and after Nov 1st decided not to call him and disturb God’s work. When he called yesterday ( unexpected call) really i was not excited… i guess their is lots of work for Father to do on him. So Father is helping to keep my mind strong at the same time showing that He will bring him to me… Praise the Lord. I love Jesus more and more I was to see him …Amen
Hi All
I was in a long distance relationship for two years with a man that was amazing to me. However things went extremely wrong and I left him. I then found out he had been seeing another woman for a duration of 6 months whilst we were together.
Things went worst and the woman and I had a slight altercation, (just words). I was so hurt and angry that he betrayed me and handled the situation like he did that I could not eat for days.
However it has now been 3 months and I have forgiven him of the pain he caused and now I just miss him so badly. At the time we were together I was not able to give him what he needed as I had other issues in my life but reflecting back I know my mistakes as well as his.
I started seeing someone else and he is just not the same. At first I thought I really liked him but he was just a rebound. I do care for him but I cannot be with him because I am still deeply in love with my ex.
So a few weeks ago I emailed my ex and told him that I miss being able to talk to him. We spoke about everything we were best friends. He replied that he missed me also and that I can talk to him whenever I want too as he still cares for me and will always be there for me. (Which is awkward as he has a new girl)
Moving forward I have now decided to put all my trust in God and I pray that me and my ex will reunite. I have never met a man that cared for me as much as he did and I am not willing to let it go. What we had was so beautiful, real and pure. And I realize you do not know what you have until its gone.
We spoke of marriage children and our future together and I pray God will bring us back to such paths.
Despite the pain caused, this experience has been a beautiful learning curve for me as it has brought me closer to God, it has inspired me to grow. I now know how to truly love this man, how to be patience, forgiving, trusting, non-argumentative…
All I have left now is such beautiful memories, when I look at all are photos together we look so genuine and happy. I miss him so bad.
Where I went wrong is that I did not pray to maintain this relationship and thought I would let nature take its course. I was wrong, when you meet someone that love, you hold on and pray that God will keep you both together because the Devil rejoices in our pain.
I am so confused I just keep reading my Bible and praying to God whether this is the right thing to do. I have asked for signs which he has shown me but nothing is concrete. What I plan to do now is put my life in God hands, be patience and re-frame from dating anyone else. I am giving myself one year to remain single and pray that our love returns. If however a year passes and nothing happens and my heart no longer feels the same for him then I know that is the Lord’s way of showing me to moved on. However if I see progress and my heart still yearns for him then I will wait for him not to be my bf but my husband.
I am staying firm to The Word of God: Ask and it shall be given.
I wish you the same success!
I love this. I feel like so many of us are going through the same thing. I pray that the Lord will send us all our partner. I’m praying for someone as well and Im keeping my faith God will transform and change him. He has been the only guy that didn’t stop me from going to church and he’s actually join me. He’d help me pray and he’d encourage me to go to church when every other guy I talked to was never interested in God. I felt so happy when he would join me for church and I’m hoping the Lord will bring him back:) I remember Luke 11:9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Don’t give up guys if it is the Lords will he will deliver!