Help Me Get Back To God

I don’t know what to Title this. But I Hope someone hears me & Help Me Get back to God!!

Hi I’m 20 years Old & In need of advice. Ok, I Got saved 2 years ago in 2010 on the 9th of June in a hospital. Where God took me basically to get saved cause I was a drug addict for almost 2years, So he called me. I was very passionate for God, Always looked forward to going to Church & Youth Fridays. I was of Fire for the Messiah, read the Word daily, I was addicted to reading my bible. I Prayed fairly on a regular basis, & in the following year became a Youth Leader at My Church.

Then things got tough. 1 of my Ex Girlfriends came back in my life & Me & Her always had this strange sexual chemistry between us that we couldn’t understand, & so I fell & gave into temptation. I was so blind & led away that My Light dimmed & became a lukewarm Christian.

Things from the got worse, I ended things with her but now I had a empty void inside, & at the time, I couldn’t go back to God cause I felt bad for leaving him. I then fell in love with my own cousin, we were convinced that no one would find out until She fell pregnant, so the truth came out & the whole Family was furious (I Know, Incest. I still can’t believe it either) she then Had a miscarriage, & they were twins. This happened last year June.

Ever since, Its been a higher uphill battle to return to God. My Ex came back into my life, & I fell & gave in to the same trap. & we ended for good this time cause we fought everyday about anything & everything. The devil then saw I was striped down to nothing & it was easier to turn to God at that point but I got trapped with Porn. & I’ve been battling this whole year with it, trying to Break free. I keep repenting, then I go back & do the same sin. Right now, it feels like my heart is to Cold & hard for God to change me.

How do I get back? I want to be saved again & experience the Passion & Fire & Joy I once had in my Salvation. Please Help Me, I don’t wanna take my own life, thinking if God doesn’t want me & has a purpose for me, then why live? I don’t wanna live, if I’m not living for him.

Help!

14 Comments

  1. Joy 9/15/2012
  2. Sister in Christ 9/16/2012
  3. Thami 9/16/2012
  4. Michelle 9/16/2012
  5. Sister in Christ 9/16/2012
  6. Thami 9/17/2012
    • Lerecia 8/27/2016
  7. Pastor Hulisani 9/25/2012
  8. Shandra 9/25/2012
  9. Sphu 10/3/2012
  10. Emily 1/19/2013
  11. Stephanie 1/30/2013
  12. pietergabriel 1/30/2013
  13. Nate 5/24/2014

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