Apologizing

Me and my fiancée broke up about 2 and half months ago, she does not want to talk to me ever again. Long story short, there have been a lot of arguing and fighting going on, mostly all started from her. I tried not to fight with her, then it came to a point that I got fed up and broke up with her. But I did it out of anger and acted out of character and ended up getting a little physical with her.

I didn’t hit her or anything, but when I asked her for the ring, she was about to give it to me and me being anxious I went to take the ring at the same time, she resisted touching her are, not meaning to, it was the position I was in when she resisted. She says that I was aggressive and shook her.

After that she had the phone in her lap not using it or anything, she was just holding it, so because I was still upset I smacked the phone from her hand, I did not touch her hand, just the phone. After this I felt really terrible, and I knew that she was not going to hear my apology.

The next day her parents come to my house to tell me that they don’t want me to contact there daughter ever again, and she does not want me to contact her ever to as well. I have been praying and keeping hopeful that we will get back together if its gods will, just recently this past Saturday, I was prayed over and this woman that prayed over me gave me a word from God saying to just concentrate on myself, to get myself better, to receive healing. And that God will take care of everything else.

After the prayer was over, we started talking and I let her know that my ex is very close to her parents, the woman then said to me that as she was praying she kept feeling in her spirit something about her parents. She then told me that God may bring the parents to me, then a little later on in the conversation, she said that God said that I would have to call the father to apologize.

Now I know that we must apologize to who we offend, but this situation has become really bad, its been about 2 and half months since the situation, I’m wondering if I should we on God to give me confirmation as to when I should apologize to the parents about what I did. Her parents they said on that day when they came to my house that they don’t think that I’m a bad person, just that I need help with my anger. Still I’m scared half to death of calling her parents to apologize.

My heart at times aches for my ex and I wish that I could be back with her, I even have day dreams about us reconciling and what I would say on that day if it does come to pass. Her parents have always raised her to not be with someone that is going to raise a hand to their daughter, to be abusive, and I ended up showing them that person, even if it was not my character I was just upset.

I was not happy for awhile in the relationship because of my ex’s attitude at times, making things bigger then they really are and at times would not talk to me right. For a whole year dealing with this, don’t get me wrong there were plenty of good times, and just some bad times. My question is that since I received this word from this woman, I’m wondering if I should seek God for confirmation even though its about apologizing, I know that I should apologize because its biblical, but what about the timing of it. If this is the open door that I have been praying for, God getting me and my ex back together, I don’t want to mess it up.

Please help, ever since this break up, I have had no peace of mind at all, I pray to God for peace and more then once I have been trying to just trust in God and have him handle everything, but its gets so hard and I end up taking it back and trying to figure out things again. I sometimes feel like I can’t enjoy life anymore. I don’t even know if my ex still loves me anymore, three weeks after the break up, I went to her to apologize, and she didn’t want to accept it, must have been my timing being off, I admit I didn’t pray about it, I just did it, this time with the parents I don’t want it to be on Gods timing, I already prayed to God and told him that if he wants me to apologize to her parents, to let him keep pressing on my heart about it constantly, so then I would definitely know that its from him.

I did whatever I could to make the relationship work except for including God, we prayed but it was not enough prayer, its not like I didn’t want God in the relationship, its just that I got so wrapped up with the problems of the relationship that I totally forgot. I always was there for her in ways that nobody else but her own family have been there, she has diabetes and she thought that I would walk away from her because in the first two months of the relationship she ended up in the hospital hooked up to so many machines, instead of running away I ran to her, helped her in any way that I could, was there for her day and night. But her father told me one day, it does not matter how much good you do for somebody, if you end up not treating them right, it does not mean you own them, something like that he said.

Please pray for my peace, and please let me know if I need to wait on God to let me know when I should apologize to her parents.

One Response

  1. alex 7/28/2014

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