So warning, this is going to be quite long so I hope you have patience and time. =) so first of all I want to just thank god for bringing me through all the trials and tribulations that I went through. They all ended up being for my good and made me become this strong believer that I am today. Last year I met this guy in august and we began talking and hanging out, I found myself at his dorm every night. So you know what we were doing EVERY night that I was over there. We hit it off really quick and things seemed so great because for a long time I was in and out of relations with different guys and never got serious with anyone. So when this guy came around and I saw how we hit It off so quickly and everything seemed perfect I wanted to hold on to him and do anything to keep him around. So as time went on, ive always had a Christian background and loved going to church and if I didn’t make it to church I would try and catch joel osteen or Charles Stanley. And this guy wasn’t into church to much, I mean he believed in god but it wasn’t enough belief to dedicate a sunday and watch church or attend church. so I should have known then they we are unequally yoked its not going to work. but me being in a feeling of feeling loved and wanted by someone I brushed it to the side. So some weeks later, with me still being over there every night I came home one day and didn’t feel good. I ended up getting a bad cold and I was like what in the world? where did this cold come from! About a week later I had a dream about fish, and when I normally dream about fish someone is pregnant that’s close to me. So something told me to get out of bed and take a pregnancy test, I took the test it came back positive. LORRRD HAVE MERCY I was tore up! Crying and crying, keep in mind this guy has a child already. So he finally calls me like any other day and I answer and he is like hey what you doing” and I’m like still crying and such, he asks what’s wrong and I tell him that I’m pregnant. He’s in shock and tells me he is going to call me back. He calls me back a few moments later and says
“Everything is going to be okay. We will figure this thing out etc.”
So that made me feel some what better. As days go on.. the baby is growing inside of me and so on, Me and his relationship Is falling off. To make a long story short he had just broken up with his ex girlfriend when me and him had got together and that was a big mistake. I was a “rebound” to help him get over her. So anyways i’m about 6 weeks and we come to the conclusion that i’m going to have an abortion because he is in school and can barely take care of the kid that he has now. So it was Halloween night and we went out and so on and the next day I go to get the abortion (nov 1). He couldn’t go because he said “he had class.” So I ended up going with his sister because you have to have a driver afterwards, I go in to get the procedure done surgically and as I am on the table I’m praying for god’s forgiveness and that he forgives me and so on. It didn’t hurt and it was done pretty quickly. So after that I ended up dropping his sister off because I was tired but I could still get around, so I get a phone call from one of my best friends and she tells me that one of her friends called her and told her that she saw my guy with his ex talking and hanging today. The day of the abortion when I needed him the most to be there with me. So I’m furious, I’m heated and hot ready to go off on him when I seen him. So when I saw him and asked him about it he got all upset and told me not to believe what I hear. So I just kept it moving. As days went on we fell off and kept getting into arguments over stupid stuff and finally one day we just called it quits… he broke up with me. I thought the world was over. I was so hurt, heartbroken, it would only take GOD to heal the brokenness that this guy caused me. Right after getting rid of the baby. So after some healing and time went by… a few weeks, my ex hits me up (this was a test from god to see if I learned my lesson). So he hits me up and ask could he see me. keep in mind my ex and the other ex that just hit me up are on the same football team. So to make a long story short he calls and I run to see him. You know what we did that night. And a few other nights as well. So one day I was In my home again and just wondering like “hmmmm my period should have been on by now” so something told me again “girl take a pregnancy test” I take a pregnancy test and it says POSITIVE. At this moment i’m in aw. Like this is not really happening!!! Wow! So I tell the guy and he is like
“wow are you serious…that’s crazy blah blah”
Then as days went by he started telling me to get an abortion and I told him NO. I just had one a few weeks ago!! and he was just rude and mean,
“I’m not going to take care of it! I’m not giving you a dime! How do I know this is even my baby”
Just pure meanness that he gave me about the situation. About that time I had came to the conclusion like
“Lord obviously you are having me be pregnant to slow my tail down, so I’ma have this baby, I don’t care what this boy talking about.”
So I made an appointment to go to the doctor to see how far along I was and to just have a regular first check up when you become pregnant. The nurse took my blood and weight and all that good stuff. then she asked if my best friend and I wanted to see the tiny little seed that the baby would look like in my womb. We said sure! why not. So she turns the lights off and puts the gel on my stomach and uses the machine to see the baby with. All of a sudden the nurse gets real quiet and says
“How long ago was your last missed period?”
I said well I have had one since the previous abortion a few weeks back. She shows me the ultra sound and there is a BIG baby bouncing around and waving and just heart beat going crazy so glad to be noticed! I was almost 13 weeks pregnant! The abortion didn’t work, it wasn’t completed. My best friend and I start balling crying because we had knew this wasn’t going to be good . Keep in mind my ex (the baby’s father) is now back with his ex girlfriend, we had a terrible break up, he found out that I was back talking to his teammate from before so it was ALLL Messed up. So the devil was like “don’t tell XYZ that this is so and so’s baby, let him just keep thinking that its his.” I couldn’t do that. I immediately called XYZ and told him that I’m still pregnant from so and so. The abortion wasn’t complete and I have almost a 4 month old baby inside me.
He was relieved but still apologized by the way he treated me and acted. So I had to call so and so (baby’s father). Keep in mind we haven’t talked for weeks, he has moved on with his life, with his ex and they just having a good ol’ time.
So I call him, I tell him that I’m still pregnant and he flips out on me “B&^%% YOU A LIAR, YOU CRAZY how you gone call me and lie! That’s XYZ baby! you better call him you crazy B&^&**(and he hangs up. So I of course cry some more and more and I never called him again after that just because I couldn’t deal with the way he talked).
So each day the baby was growing, I had to make a decision. I could keep the baby, and the father not be apart of his life, or I could go back to abortion clinic and do the abortion over. I’m about 12-13 weeks at this time so the time limit is cutting close for them to even to an abortion. I finally make my mind up that I’m going to do the abortion again and start a new life.
I prayed and prayed for forgiveness and for god to be with me since I’m far along into the pregnancy for anything could happen. So as I’m on the operating table the doctor comes in and has all his equipment and is ready to do what he has to do to remove the baby from me. When I tell you I felt every inch of tools, I seen blood slashing, I felt tears running down my face, pain pain pain, all I could do is cry and pray..
I looked at the nurses faces around me and they looked in shock like “this is bad” abortion gone wrong type of deal. so once the doctor was done, he tells me to get up and wait in this other room for some time to calm down and take some pills to prevent pain and infection. So about that time as soon as I got up I seen blood all over the floors, it looked like a crime scene. I get up and sit down they told me to wear a pad for the next couple days and even maybe up to two weeks. So I went to bathroom to change out of the gown and I noticed that the pad I had on kept becoming full of blood, and I kept having to change it, I told the nurse and she said well you shouldn’t’ be filling up the pad like that, so I went through almost 6-7 pads In some minutes. They finally called the doctor in and he says that my blood pressure was about 200/150 and I was on the verge of going into a stroke, losing so much blood they needed to monitor me or I would be going to the ER to perform another surgery to stop the bleeding.
So after about an hour, the bleeding calms down. I’ve lost soooo much blood at this point and I’m really weak, I can barely walk to my car. I’m steady praying and praying, I’m driving home and I stopped at a target to pick up some maxi pads, I got out the car and I felt the biggest clump of blood fall out of me and it ended up being all on the back of my sweat suit. I start to head home and I’m like I could bleed to death, I need to go to ER.
I ended up going home, talking to my mom and just praying and praying, I was so scared I didn’t think I was going to make it through the night BUT the power of prayer that my mom and myself had I slept with the bible and with her that night I woke up thanking god for getting me through the night. God gave me another chance at life! I should and could have died that day! He has me to here to minister my testimony and to share!!! Every since that day on the beginning of the year was approaching and I changed my life around! God restored me! He brought me through all of that! it was a healing process physically and mentally that I had to go through!!! I had to change my life around because I said I would never wish that on anyone! So every since I’ve really dedicated my life to god, he has blessed me with strength, joy, love and just the PEACE that money can’t buy! There’s more little details but I’ve written a lot! I continue to pray for the readers and I hope that god blesses each and everyone of you! Share what god has done for you!