If I had chosen what manner of a mess in this life would have become my message, I likely would not have chosen the subject of lesbianism or homosexuality. Nevertheless, my past does include lesbianism. However, the only reason I am so willing to speak of it is only because Jesus Christ delivered me from the behavior.
Recently, I heard a man speak of rising above self-interest for a greater cause. Well, let me tell you, I will undoubtedly not live to find a greater cause than relaying the message of hope I have found in Jesus Christ, in this very personal way, to those who would receive it.
In 1995, several years after I came to know Christ, I came to understand that, though it’d been several years since I discontinued acting out as a lesbian, my mind was still infiltrated with not only remembrances of acting out that way, but also of the things which led up to making my decision to begin that lesbian lifestyle. Sometimes, I will refer to this as the “I saw something nasty in the woodshed syndrome,” which is a phrase I picked up from a movie called “Cold Comfort Farm.” I just, at that time, couldn’t see how I would overcome the desire to act out that way; which remained, though I indeed had no real desire left to actually be with another person.
So one afternoon, standing alone in my living room, I appealed to God to show me the way to completely get over it all; to show me the way to a character that was completely free of lesbian inclinations. “If you can do this, you a good ‘un ” I told God that day, ” And I’ll use it as a testimony to anybody who cares to receive it.
In 1996, I was working for a temporary help firm. There wasn’t much work available for me, from them, at that time. So I accepted a one day assignment to show them that I was willing to take any degree of employment; hoping that my doing so would lead to something more permanent. It was a job that would be only about collating papers; that’s all.
Even so, the very moment I sat down in the little room, all by myself, with those stacks of papers, in walks this tall classy looking white woman. Without hesitating, she voiced, “I don’t know why God would have me to do this type of thing. But I was sent to tell you that what you want will happen. Then she stood behind me, with her hands on my shoulders, and prayed out loud to the Father, on my behalf. Afterward, she left the room. And when I finished the work, I could not find her to tell her so; that I might be shown what came next. When I went over to two African American females to inquire as to the woman’s whereabouts, they seemed to have no knowledge of the person I was looking for. And I wondered what I had said to appear so strange to them that they would chuckle and look at each other.
Anyhow, I had no opportunity to further interact with that woman who’d prayed for me on that temp. job that day in 1996. So I didn’t get to relay to her what was in my heart to do then. And what I wanted to do was publish the book I had so recently begun to write. I wanted to share, in a great way, how the Lord had come into my life and delivered me from a lifestyle I no longer wanted to live.
It’s 2008 now. And, through the power of Jesus Christ, I have indeed never gone back to acting out as a lesbian. However, more significantly, I have lived and learned and grown a lot spiritually in my walk with the Lord. And that book, which I was so exhilarated to work on from the beginning, has proved to far more than I had expected. In this, I am relaying that “THE BARBED WIRE FENCE,” has proved to be my own life lessons play (as I described my journey in this book); a labor of love that was intended more for my own learning, than it would be a testimony to anybody who might read it. For God’s process of my becoming transformed (from a deviant mindset) through the renewing of my mind, has so grounded me within the Body of Christ that nothing else shall ever appeal to me again!
Most of us, Christian or not, have become aware that, in today’s politically correct society, a book which concerns finding freedom from what’s become a widely accepted lifestyle might not be so popular. In fact, for this reason, I chose to self-publish because I just believed that there’s not enough time left to find a secular publisher who would be willing to give my writing a chance.
BODY OF CHRIST: There are people who need the Lord! And these people, more than ever before, need more Christians to lose interest in their own comfort enough to bear the discomfort of sharing with somebody, in need of hearing it (for it’s not appointed for us all to detail our testimony), the unedited truth about their deliverance through the gospel of Jesus Christ. As for my book: I have indeed self-published; my Christian publisher is Xulon Press.
However, because what little money I had to see the book in print didn’t last very long, I have nothing left to pay for its promotion. So, what I am appealing to those reading this blog to do is to, first go to the Xulon Press website and view “THE BARBED WIRE FENCE,” by Tina Peters. And then, if you’re in agreement with its potential as a ministerial tool, I would humbly ask you to tell somebody about this timely testament of faith and hope through Jesus Christ; which I have anointedly shared in such a personal and respectful manner. And may we all pray for each other to be courageous and consistent in lifting Him up; for the betterment of a troubled world.