My father being a faithful church goer, I grew up in the church and there I gained the belief of someone or something greater then ourselves. As I reached my teens, I found myself being easily influenced by the wrong things. In short, drugs became my best friend.
As years past, drugs became my escape from an empty reality. The only thing that might have changed through the years was the type of drugs I was using. After years of abuse, I reached a point where I didn’t want this life anymore. I knew I was better than the person I had become, but at the same time I couldn’t see beyond where I was. Incarceration didn’t deter me, rehabs had no effect.
One late night I tried taking my own life because I seen it as my last result. I began crying out to God asking Him to forgive me for what I was about to do. The following day as I opened my eyes I began crying like a baby because I was still here. Two weeks later in the dead of winter, I became homeless for the first time in my life. I didn’t know it then but God was at work making sure He had my full attention.
On the second day of trying to escape the bitter cold anyway I could, another homeless person gave me a 800 number to a homeless hotline where they inform of nearby shelters. The person on the other end of the line gave me two locations: one was walking distance and the other was three towns away. A person in my circumstance you think would have chose the closest location but something inside me kept telling me I needed to get to the location three towns away.
Even though I was not only freezing but feeling more alone than I had ever felt in my life, the urgency I felt was so strong. I was willing to walk if I had to. I took some change and made one collect call hoping for a ride and it paid off.
Once I got there I couldn’t believe it, the place was not only a shelter but also a nine month Christian rehab. The first words that truly resonated was (it’s no accident you ended up here) and that’s when I knew without a doubt that God had led me to this place and from that day my life has never been the same.
I’m no longer just an empty shell. I have love, peace, joy, direction, all the things that make life worth living. I may not be what I should be, but all praise to my Lord and Savior that I’m not what I use to be.