A God Who Pursues Us

Hi, my name is Sequoia.

I grew up with 2 siblings, and my parents were married up until a certain point in life. They were Christians, like I remember going to church as a kid or maybe with grandparents even but of course being that kid that fell asleep in church. I recall some nights me and my mom would pray and I just remember her almost like being surprised when I remembered a prayer point from before.

I don’t remember if my parents had me reading the Bible or me having an understanding or knowing that stuck that I could have relationship with God through Jesus. I knew Jesus died for my sins but I don’t think the fall of mankind and the reconciliation knowledge stuck or if I was even taught that because later on in life I came to a point where I said great he died for our sins and thought I didn’t have to worry about how I lived like it was okay to live however as I planned to most likely get drunk that night.

I just grew up saying bedtime prayers and praying over food and this carried throughout my teenage and some of my adult years. My “faith” (didn’t even know what a faith was lol) looked like believing in the creator that he exists or just grew up going through the motions of what stuck from childhood but not trusting in God or being relational with God which is really important. I do remember in high school having moments with my friends trying to be better and trying to do things like go to church, stop cursing and drinking but that was about it. It wasn’t because of making Jesus Lord and Savior so it was sort of pointless.

Eventually I started asking what’s my purpose in life and got deceived into new age, tarot readings, and witchcraft. That specific period went on for about 4 years and being on social media just scrolling so much I would come across videos on TikTok about Jesus and I think I started to believe but still didn’t fully understand the importance of things and one day I lost my job and I was freaking out and immediately I’m thinking I’m gonna have to manifest like never before some coins (btw it never worked for me all the new age stuff but I kept trying hoping for something different one day) and I got in my closet about to so called muster up some money and I got on social media to find something that works quick and I came across a video of this girl saying that the people trying to manifest and such things alike need God and not all the other things we were doing. She may have mentioned that it was demonic because I came to a point where I was so confused and didn’t understand how it was demonic. I was going back and forth internally and was so conflicted I just started crying and said I just want to know the truth. I believe it was God that met me in that closet, as if I had a choice to make but he was trying to reach me, awaken me and show me a better way.

He was drawing me to Jesus, and he began to reveal the truths to me, specifically the truth, the way and the life and he started opening my eyes to see how I was fooled and deceived and I know he was the one saving my life all of my life but in that moment something changed. Like he confronts me with the best intentions for me. He met me in that closet and started to change the trajectory of my life and heart. It was a tough start for me, being so concerned about this life and not having a full understanding that this was all temporary and never thinking about a eternal perspective. I remember not even wanting to live but he gave me a reason to live, he gave me purpose. I just remember sitting with myself trying to think of something as to why I should live and living for God was the only thing that came to mind.

It’s been tough for me, but he’s been there through it all. Giving me strength, a joy that made no sense that somebody would have with everything. I was battling spiritually on top of life circumstances. One night I had an out of body experience and was in danger, I could just sense the evil, and I was so terrified, but you guess it. He has proved himself to be true, the Bible says those who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved, and I called on him multiple times and to spare some embarrassing details and skip to the good part: he answered. A voice behind me and he patted me on my shoulder and told me it’s okay. He’s been faithful, he’s lifted up my head and has even told me he loves me and I don’t mean only someone randomly saying “Jesus loves you”. I mean personally to me directly and he’s touched me in ways no one else could.

One of the best days of my life in a tough season he told me he loved me and I had a spark no one could put out. Only Jesus can do that. Now when I think about memories over the course of life, I see him and all the times he has perused me, kept reaching out and has been patient and he has literally been there even when I was deep in sin and he wasn’t even a thought to me but he’s faithful like none other. Life is still hard but with a God who is all knowing and faithful, when I wake up every day even when I don’t feel the best in my emotions, I’m still thankful for the breath in my body.

I give him thanks for his mercy and grace and another chance because without him and who he is id be lost in damnation for eternity. But he is a God who pursues us because he loves us and wants us to be with him in eternal life. I hope this has encouraged someone to keep going in their walk with Jesus and for someone new to know that God pursues you right now as you read this and we hope you’ll make Jesus Lord and Savior of your life too.